"Ow! Ow!"

"Making Me Play Another 90+ Minutes is Elder Abuse..."

"Don't Mind Me!"

"At Least the USMNT Coach Saw Me Make Lots of Saves!"

Match 6 at Atlanta: "A Performance as Ugly as This Pitch!"

Match 5 at Columbus: "11 PM Curfew!'

Match 4 vs. New England: "I Could Get Used to These Baseball Fields!"

Match 3 vs. Orlando: "What Did You Say About My Haircut?!"

Match 2 at LAFC: "I Should Be in Bed"

Match 1 at Miami: "Stop Messi, No Pressure"

MLS Cup Eastern Conference Semifinals: "See You All Next Season!*"

MLS Cup Round 1, Game 3: "Accidentally Became Important at Work"